New Hairstyle

"You are the daughter of Jinn Chicken!" was the excited comeback on the boy's front.

Today I drove to work with my Omani boss's children. LOL, do not ask why. We joke it is not part of my job description to pick up dishdashas from the tailor and to iron them either but since my job totally suits me, and my boss is actually a very interesting, totally cool person I respect who overworks himself before overworking any of those in his employ, I just consider it one of the quirks of working in Oman. And I think it cute that his sons are scared to death of grown up women.

Anyways, in the car were a couple of 7-9 year old Omani boys, and one 10 year old American girl.

Apparently, this morning was girls versus boys. I apparently, don't count on the girls' side, because since I am a friend of their father, and thus, am on their side regardless of sex or whether or not I wish to be counted on either side at all.

Well, I got in the car in the middle of an insult throw fest, and I was quite amused to see how different cultures insult eachother. The American girl's culture and way of insulting being similar to what I am familiar with, the Omani insults from children VASTLY amused me.

"You're fat," was the American girl's retort to some quip I didn't hear. [In the USA, calling someone fat or picking on how they look is a way of insulting people].

"You are the daughter of Jinn Chicken!" was the excited comeback on the boy's front. [In Oman, calling someone an animal is bad, as it saying you are less than human, same with acusing them of being possessed by an evil spirit, like a Genie."

The 10 year old girl was complexed. "Like... what is that?"

"Jinn, as in, Genie, stupid."

The girl raised her eyebrow, and turned back to face the front seat and ignore them. "You are too stupid to even insult." [Insulting someone's intelligence is also a very Western characteristic when it comes to the art of insult].

Their father phoned. Put onto speaker he admonished them. "Is this how boys who pray Fajr [morning prayer] in the Masjid [Mosque] behave!"

Yep, lol, that was my morning. How was your drive into work?

Sometimes I am kind of happy that I am an Orphan in the Islamic sense, when I hear stories of horrible families, abusing their daughter's rights.

MOP was telling me a story about a girl from Jebel Akhdar whose family married her when she was seventeen to an old man who was 80. She didn't really have a say, unless she wanted to be cast out by the tribe and family.

From my friend, we'll call her Rayan: "If we Omani girls go against our families, even if we commit no sin and do something that is good for us, it is as if we have committed adultery, or worse. No matter how good and liberal you think our families are. My mother loves you, but if you were her daughter, she'd never have allowed your marriage to MOP. Wrong tribe. Wrong job."

And Rayan is from Muscat.

I always say to myself, if I was her, the girl from Jebel Akhdar, I would have stood up for myself and run away, but if you don't have a job, and your family keeps you from learning the skills needed to provide for yourself, what can you do? And she didn't have any skills, just barely her schooling, so...

One of her male highschool teachers apparently thought to save her from this fate because he felt sorry for her in this situation, by marrying her as a second wife, but he didn't have the money for her maher.

He was a decent age, only fifteen years her senior, and kind I suppose, but I mean, doesn't a young girl deserve some options in life?

So I ask my husband about our sons and daughters. Ours sons could marry as they choose he says, even though his brother did not marry a [very white] Zanzibari girl he loved because of the fact that she was not "A Real Omani" and it could bring shame to the family, and no one would want to marry their daughters to the family anymore, and that it would be worse for them men of the family to marry a black skinned woman than to marry an Omani woman who did not wear a headscarf or abaya.

I get angry, wallah. This is not my religion. This is not Oman as I love Oman.

"What of our daughters?" I enquire. One always should, before marriage, if they want to know what kind of man their husband is.

My husband relents that he'd possibly allow a black man who was a good Muslim of good reputation who was amazingly secure and wealthy marry one of his daughters, but it would be unaccepted by the village. But in this case wealth was important because no one would accept them.

And then MOP was an idiot for a bit and tried to tell me that the Prophet Mohamed SAW never married his daughters to an African man or non Arab.

"He said "Salman Al Farsi [a Persian] is of my family!"" I retort to such tactics in anger.

MOP nods in agreement and says that is why he loves me, that he WANTS me to change some things in his village, after I stop BEING the change. Right now he is the person bringing the change. I am scary CHANGE incarnate Bwahahaha. I am here people, and you can't scare me away with gossip, and fear that your husbands will all marry white women. Because don't worry, they won't. Most of your husbands have smaller minds than you.

Forgive the bitterness, it will go in time.

I just chant to myself. "I love Oman. I love Oman. I love Oman."

Believe me. One white woman is enough change for his village at this time I suppose. And they like white skin.

I've had to sister in laws ask me for whitening lotions already.

I say try sunscreen and eating lots of cucumbers. Honestly, I just want them to lay off the bleaches.

Apparently though, in case of some miracle, like the sky spells out his name, any future daughters of ours will be forbidden from marrying men of a tribe that is enemy to my husband's tribe.

I fight this. I say "races, tribes, and nations are a thing of Jahiliyia [not of Islam]. [The Prophet Mohamed said] Leave it. It is rotten."

My husband relents in case of miraculous perfect man from said enemy tribe who rejects his tribe.

To be honest, using my good judgement, I'll help my children to marry as they feel capable.

I feel I have to fight, because knowing my husband's luck, if we have a daughter, she'll take after me.

And what did MY father say when I asked him if there was anything I could do in this life that would sorely disapoint him?

"You could suppress yourself to wear a veil and convert to some strange religion like Islam."

Yes, yes, my father really did say that.

So if she's anything like me...

MOP allows he may have to make room for his bad luck;D

Because of a comment I read on JD's blog, I wanted to touch on the topic of marrying one's cousins.

Unless my future children are totally adamantly, defiantly in love with one of their Omani cousins, and that cousin they are in love with is a good Muslim AND a good person (they should be intertwined, one meaning the other but one can be culturally Islamic and a horrible personage at the same time in my experience), and then, and only then, if they have a blood test first, and it makes them medically compatible, well... other than that, I won't let them marry their cousins. Or be familially pressured into marrying their cousins.

Why? when I adore most of their potential cousins? When I love my family? and think them good, and actually accept the practice as halal in Islam?

Because sometimes, the children inherit genetic diseases, especially blood disorders, more often, when they are genetically linked. And it isn't a very big issue for me. My husband was born from parents who were cousins, and most of my Omani, Saudi, Emerati, Qatari, Bahraini friends are too. It isn't a big deal to me, but I think it is better to NOT to. Medically.

Contrary to what alot of expats think, not everyone who marries their cousins are gonna end up with special needs children. It just doesn't happen like that. For example, my Omani family. The only genetically inherent disease they seem to manifest from stubbornly marrying only in the family is bleeding gum. I mean, uber sensitive teeth. The ones that married distant cousins from far away villages don't have this problem in their children. But imagine if it were something worse than sensitive teeth. Like blood disorders, such as sickle-cell anemia.

I was reading a book on the history of the interior region of the Sultanate from an early expat voice on Oman and was highly offended when the author referred to people from the interior as warring imbreds.

Since not all cousin babies end up in trouble at all. There are ALOT of medical factors. I know, it is one thing to do with my work in IRL;)

But then, now after my opinions on the subject, there is one other thought in my head. A conversation between my sister in law and I of late.

Now, if she ever reads this, my SIL will figure out RIGHT AWAY who I am in IRL. Hi! My Big Omani Princess;P [BOP].

Anyways, SIL BOP and I were talking about something TOTALLY UNRELATED to anything or anyone imbred. We were talking about ow unhealthy Pepsi is. Or, well BOP was, since MOP [my Omani Prince aka my husband] is also on this bandwagon and they want me to stop drinking alot of caffeine.

I spoke in defence of the occasional can of pepsi. I know it rots my teeth out, but I do not think the powers attributed to it by BOP canbe actually manifest.

BOP: "Once a month is totally okay. But I knew a girl from Nizwa who drank only Pepsi during her preganancy, and her baby was born with deformities."

OPNO: "So you blame the Pepsi?"

BOP: "Of course."

OPNO: "I think it had more to do with them being cousins."

Sorry, Cousin Marriages, but I had to say that in defence of my occasional can of Pepsi. I really can't do the "dew" and orange miranda stains my teeth sooooo... LOL.