New Hairstyle

It seems we forgot something universal from our list of why we love living it up in Oman.

I remember my Omani homegirl R saying, and I quote: "You'd love Omani culture less if you were actually Omani."

And classic KH: "Trade passports? You love my country, take it. I want out."

It has always GREATLY amused my Omani friends that I love things from Omani culture that they are slowly rejecting, such as regional dress, certain handicrafts, Omani history, Omani stories, ect... and I had always thought it was very foolish of friends like R & KH to reject their culture for my highly commercialized, melting pot one. Well, not mine familially (as I have a very colourful family who have never quite been amalgomated into their society), but mine nationally anyways, just to add for clarification.

But now, from within the culture, I begin to understand why R favours jeans over sirwaal, and rejects niqab [the face veil], and why KH is so disatisfied with his role in society and longs for the advantages of freedom depite having to do barely nothing to subsist in Omani culture.

From within the culture, that I still love, I know all the things of the culture, good and bad, that cannot be so easily rejected and set aside. KH & R cannot do anything other than what is the norm in their famillies. They wear Western clothes, eat Western food, don't know alot about Oman, and the good things about it, and I hate this.

But I begin to understand the act of rejection as a means to protest the things that they wish they were able to reject.

Dhofari girls that happen to write about rejecting the niqab (face veil) don't really reject the niqab as the Islamic message it represents. They represent their lack of choice with the niqab of the symbol of their ignorant or uneducated relatives. This confuses expats, causes controversy in the Muslim Ummah, but at least, now I get it.

KH wishes to abstain from the wasta system. He longs for an Islamic (not Omani) marriage.

R also longs for an Islamic marriage. She longs for the time when an Omani woman doing something not sinful and even good for herself even if it goes contrary to the norm in the family will not be considered a crime in the society worse than adultery and murder. R admits if she murdered someone, her family would probably forgive her and support her, but if she chose to marry someone of the wrong tribe name, she'd be out in the cold and called "siflah" an arabic swearword similiar to "b*&^" but meaning "one who has gone out". The same thing would happen to her is she supported another family member doing the same.

Now that I am within the bounds of Omani society, and fall subject to the laws and traditions of MOP's tribe (apparently, if I drive a Mustang, I'll be a "bad girl" lol :XD same goes for a sporty jeep or wearing a colourful headscarf in certain village places) I find my powers to reject things to be limited in some cases (not by MOP himself) so I fight for things that are NOT important.

I never really desired to wear open style abayas at all. Not really my fave style. But I found myself fighting for the right to wear them even though it was not important to me.

Or hearing an ignorant Omani saying "9/11 was the Jews, and I hate America" and only able to give "Palestine" as a reason for that when I ask them why.

Not aware, apparently, that the Turkish Caliphate allying itself with Hitler not being half the reason, or that the Cheks armed Israel in its early days, not the USA, ect, ect, ect.

Read Bernard's "The Crisis of Islam" to understand better. Decent book, though he misuses the term "Wahabi" quite extensively. He means "Saudi jurisprudence" not exactly "Wahabi". Anyways.

I have realized, that fighting for things that are not important to me is hypocritical. Just as hypocritical as my friends, who I had judged as foolish for rejecting the worthy things in their culture and societies, who do not rebell against the true causes of their discontent state in life.

So while I will continue to fight, embracing everything in Omani culture that is not unislamic, I will not fight just to prove I have fight in me. No success or change or even satisfaction can come from that, just exhaustion.

Because of a comment I read on JD's blog, I wanted to touch on the topic of marrying one's cousins.

Unless my future children are totally adamantly, defiantly in love with one of their Omani cousins, and that cousin they are in love with is a good Muslim AND a good person (they should be intertwined, one meaning the other but one can be culturally Islamic and a horrible personage at the same time in my experience), and then, and only then, if they have a blood test first, and it makes them medically compatible, well... other than that, I won't let them marry their cousins. Or be familially pressured into marrying their cousins.

Why? when I adore most of their potential cousins? When I love my family? and think them good, and actually accept the practice as halal in Islam?

Because sometimes, the children inherit genetic diseases, especially blood disorders, more often, when they are genetically linked. And it isn't a very big issue for me. My husband was born from parents who were cousins, and most of my Omani, Saudi, Emerati, Qatari, Bahraini friends are too. It isn't a big deal to me, but I think it is better to NOT to. Medically.

Contrary to what alot of expats think, not everyone who marries their cousins are gonna end up with special needs children. It just doesn't happen like that. For example, my Omani family. The only genetically inherent disease they seem to manifest from stubbornly marrying only in the family is bleeding gum. I mean, uber sensitive teeth. The ones that married distant cousins from far away villages don't have this problem in their children. But imagine if it were something worse than sensitive teeth. Like blood disorders, such as sickle-cell anemia.

I was reading a book on the history of the interior region of the Sultanate from an early expat voice on Oman and was highly offended when the author referred to people from the interior as warring imbreds.

Since not all cousin babies end up in trouble at all. There are ALOT of medical factors. I know, it is one thing to do with my work in IRL;)

But then, now after my opinions on the subject, there is one other thought in my head. A conversation between my sister in law and I of late.

Now, if she ever reads this, my SIL will figure out RIGHT AWAY who I am in IRL. Hi! My Big Omani Princess;P [BOP].

Anyways, SIL BOP and I were talking about something TOTALLY UNRELATED to anything or anyone imbred. We were talking about ow unhealthy Pepsi is. Or, well BOP was, since MOP [my Omani Prince aka my husband] is also on this bandwagon and they want me to stop drinking alot of caffeine.

I spoke in defence of the occasional can of pepsi. I know it rots my teeth out, but I do not think the powers attributed to it by BOP canbe actually manifest.

BOP: "Once a month is totally okay. But I knew a girl from Nizwa who drank only Pepsi during her preganancy, and her baby was born with deformities."

OPNO: "So you blame the Pepsi?"

BOP: "Of course."

OPNO: "I think it had more to do with them being cousins."

Sorry, Cousin Marriages, but I had to say that in defence of my occasional can of Pepsi. I really can't do the "dew" and orange miranda stains my teeth sooooo... LOL.

Going to the cinema in Oman can be an interesting experience. As a single Muslim gal, I never went by myself without one of my shebab (the guys) for keeping things kosher, or a rather large-ish group of banaat (girls). Because, well, go by yourself and you get one thinks-he's-sauve-and-brave Omani fella trying to chat you up or buy you popcorn ect, and it ruins the experience. As a non-muslim expat, I admit I never had this experience, but seems if you wear an abaya and a headscarf you instantly turn into dating material, go figure.

So, then my other option was renting movies.

I would have rented more but most places demand that you buy a membership. Which I did once, but since I always forget to carry my member card, and change my GSM # too often to remember it, I get stuck with puting 20-10 rials deposit down for a single rental. Which, I don't always have the fuloos (money) to do.

Watching movies off the net.

Anyone whose been in Oman for a week knows that the average internet connection suckssssssss, and is painstakingly slow. So downloading movies takes time, and for me, honestly, as a Muslim, I can't do it, cuz in most cases (not all) it is stealing.

And I love the part where I can't hear the film because te bad pirated copy has people in the theatre laughing and I see some asian guy get up and walk across the screen to get more popcorn. Awesome!

So then. I turn to buying movies when I have the cash. I spend a little extra at a store for what I am guaranteed is NOT a pirated copy.

I get home and find that the not-a-fake is a fake and feel kinda bad. And wish a little I HAD bought the cheaper OBVIOUSLY fake one.

But, you know what, there is always one part of watching a pirated film that makes me so giddily happy.

There is that add at the beginning that thanks you for buying the original and not a pirated copy. It says, thank you for not stealing. THAT PART, dear readers, I find absolutely hilarious and timelessly funny to see, on any DVD. That they pirated the "thank you for not pirating" part.

BEST part of the movie!

If you came from my cultural background (as I do when it comes to manners of speech) you would probably think my husband [referred to on this blog as MOP] kind of sexist.

“Take dress!” he orders me when I am being lazy and don’t want to go to work and want to stay in my pajamas all day with a big fat orange cat on my lap, painting or reading.

In Carrefoure or Lulu: “Come here!” “Go there.” “Give me that,” as he snatches away my heavy basket which I insist upon lugging since I am strong enough to do so, and he is already pushing the cart and all, and carrying my lap top bag from work.

Gone are the ‘honeymoon’ days before marriage, when he would say “please come here” or “please get dressed”, or “thank-you” for handing him this or that, you would think.

Sometimes, I forget I am “Omani” now, and get all offended.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I bark. “Take dress!” I scoff. “Now I will take EVEN LONGER to get ready, HA! Cuz you are bugging me:p!!!!!”

Yes, yes, I idiotically do that.

In my culture, saying “please” “thank you” “you’re welcome” are absolutely tantamount to respect and care, and of course, these things should certainly not be left out for the one you love.
So when I say “Thank you, MOP, for bringing me the mango juice I asked for.” “Thank you MOP, for buying us dinner” HE gets all offended, like, “You are my wife, what am I supposed to do? Thank you is for strangers.”

Apparently, for family and loved ones and the closest of friends, barking orders is a way to show you are bestest best friends forever and the like.

I admit. I can’t do it.

I cannot bark orders or fail to get offended when I am told, not asked to do something.

I admire MOP. He has changed alot, and me, only very little.

MOP has adapted his manners accordingly, but still thinks it most absurd that I like “please” and “thank you”.

And I can't upload pipctures now because I for some reason, have blocked file uploads to the net from my desktop with new software, IT genius that I am;)